HUG Corner: Thought for the Week 8/20/18

August 20, 2018

Healing After Loss (Martha Whitmore Hickman)

Nothing can fill the gap when we are away from those we love, and it would be wrong to try and find anything. We must simply hold out and win through. That sounds hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation since leaving the gap unfilled preserves the bond between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; he does not fill it but keeps it empty so that our communion with another may be kept alive, even at the cost of pain.

-Dietrich Bonhoefferre

It is strangely reassuring – this suggestion that the pain of that empty space will always be with us. Because while we do want to feel better, we do not want, ever, to forget. 

We will, of course, find new places to put the affection and love and time that we used to pour out to the one we lost. Not to do that would be to turn inward, refuse to be vulnerable – a poor memorial, a poor stewardship of the life left to us. 

But our ability to love and care is not limited to some finite number so that taking on a new love means replacing an old one. Time does not expand, but love does – as with a parent who has three children, and then has another.

What was once loved and cherished is not replaceable.

Dear _____________, There is a space in my heart that is always yours.

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