HUG Corner: Thought for the Week 8/12/19

Healing After Loss (Martha Whitmore Hickman)

“The main impact is just the loss, the incredible loss. The expectations just were gone. The old age that I expected is different. It just never occurred to me that she would not be in the next rocker…At the Catholic school that I went to, the motto was hic et noc, Latin for “here and now.” What they meant was you do what is necessary – here and now.”

– Cokie Roberts

Cokie Roberts was commenting on the death of her sister. 

All of us who have suffered the untimely death of a loved one could echo her words. We have to begin again to learn about our own growing old. 

But the real lesson of untimely death – or of any death – is, Pay attention to today. “Do what is necessary – here and now.” The compliment you mean to give, the time together you keep putting off, the resolution of an old plain you yearn to talk about but haven’t got around to – these are the things to attend to, before it is too late.

If it’s too late to talk to one already gone, then play through in your imagination both sides of the conversation you never had. You may be surprised at how healing this exercise can be. And then find the people for whom it’s not too late, and tell them what you want them to know.

This is the only day I have for sure. May I use it well.